巡求 - Part 2

Safe Refuge
God responded through Psalms 36:7 "Both high and low among men find refuge in the shadow of your wings." I sought after a safe refuge and low behold, He promised that we can find refuge in none other than Him alone.

Now that I have found my secured refuge in Him, I need to rediscover His grace - the amazing grace bestowed unto me, the prideful and undeserving sinner.

End of Practicum at BRPS
ah Dor and WP presented me with 'Mango Tropical' last night to celebrate the end of my practicum. I gobbled it down in less than 8 mouthfuls. The tasty sweetness of mango mousse replaced the after-effects of the MSG-loaded pepper beef rice I had earlier for dinner. More important than that, the love and company of the saints (ah Dor, WP, ah Jo and Mei ma) broke the hardness of my prideful heart.


The past practicum was an intensed and extremely stressful period of time for me. I am not sure whether I had emerged a victor through this experience. I had definitely grown more aware of my spiritual pride and self-centeredness.

ah Geoff
Met up with ah Geoff on Tuesday. I enjoyed our conversation over high tea at Orchard Hotel that faithful afternoon. Togther with Val, Bok, Munn and the rest of the P gang, we have been friends for almost ten years. ah Geoff is one who had seen me in my carnal state to who I am today. Despite his bo-chap and introvert self, he has seen the worst of me. Ha! Probably that explains why I can always relate to him without any sense of withdrawal or shyness.

ah Geoff asked me as many thought-provoking questions as I imposed on him during the time. One of these questions includes what's my goal in life. I am sick of model answers. I think I genuinely desire the reply I gave to his question at that point in time - to be a woman who is contented and patient in her Lord.

He finally delivered the wonderful news that he had registered his marriage with his fiancee in China. That's way cool because that means I am going to have a chance to fly to China to attend his wedding. Ha!

宁愿不嫁也不要嫁错
With so many weddings to attend ahead (Jk, MY, ah Geoff and ah Yeo), I am really surprised that I do not have the inkling for marriage this time round. I seriously think my conviction is clear - 宁愿不嫁也不要嫁错 - the Lord has already expressed His anger for broken covenants. The last thing I ever want to do is to break His heart in my marriage ending in divorce.

It is impossible to convince Gabel to not lose hope when I am in the process of waiting myself. All I can pray is that our eyes be fixed. To be fixated on the best match-maker that can be found on earth and one who knows our most intimate whims, desires and needs - God - himself.

Despite our explicit wrestles in conversations involving this particular topic, I am still thankful for Gabel. Ha! God is good. He knows how much I long for a fellow sister to rub shoulders with and one who is so amazing alike.